Pass the salad, please...

My first souvenirs! I said yesterday that I was getting a "boost" today. That means they changed the target to a smaller area, now only doing the prostate itself rather than the surrounding area as well. What I am holding are the two "compensators" that tell the proton beam how deep to go before delivering the burst of energy. I now have new compensators that have a smaller target area, so they gave me the ones they will no longer use. They can't give us the brass apertures because they still contain a bit of radiation. They go to a special room for a season, and ultimately are melted down.

After our fellowship lunch today I spoke with one of the doctors here about the different treatments schedules (some do 28 or 29 days, others do 39 or 41). The guys doing the short treatments are essentially pioneers, taking higher doses of radiation for less sessions. They are seeing this as the way of the future. They offered it to me during my consultation, but when they explained the whole protocol, I (and a number of other guys) opted to go with the "tried and true." The doctor I spoke with at noon told me those who are considered "low risk" receive 79 gray of radiation over 39 days. These are guys with Gleason 6's or less (it's a number having to do with how undifferentiated the cancer cells are). Then there are the intermediate risk guys, for whom they do 82 gray of radiation (2/day/41 days). That would be moi and a bunch of others, all of whom have Gleason 7's. Finally there are the high risk guys with Gleason 8-10. Each of them has a specific protocol that may or may not include chemo therapy as well as traditional IGRT. So now I know why I'm doing 41 days, and why I am getting the boost. The "low risk" guys never have that because after much research, the docs don't feel it's necessary. The rest of us mere mortals, however, get the concentrated zap.

I'm trying to decide what to do with my compensators. (I'll be getting two more when I "graduate"). They could be candy dishes (then again, sugar and cancer are a lethal mix). They would make wonderful jello molds for salads when we have in friends ("Would you like mayonnaise on your prostate salad?") Certainly they would be good book ends, but then again they could roll off the shelf ("Martha, I think I just got beaned by a runaway prostate mold!"). But whatever the case, they will be reminders. They will serve to remind me of God's goodness and care for Betty and me when we faced a huge challenge. God is so very good and gracious, and we will always be so thankful to him. Each time I see those compensators, I'll get a fresh opportunity to remember God's goodness. Isn't that terrific?

Do you have memorials? Remember when God's people were coming out of Egypt the vast number of memorials they were led to create just as reminders? Is there anything in your life that serves to remind you of God's love and care for you? If you don't, pick something out, something you'll see "now and again" that will remind you how much God loves you and ministers his care in your life.

Hey, be blessed!

Bill

Greetings from the "Sunshine State!"

I just took the picture to the right from our front porch. That "stuff" on the ground, covering the road and cars, is "Florida sunshine." LOL Since we get some variation of this virtually every afternoon, I'm thinking that whoever came up with "The Sunshine State" owes Arizona an apology. But I must hasten to add, at least it cools things down a bit. Rather than being 93-95, the rain usually brings us down into the high 80's!

Kind of like life, isn't it? Don't they say that into every life a little rain must fall? We all have our sunny seasons, and we all have our rainy seasons. Praise God the sunshine always follows the rain! Let's help one another never forget that.

Apparently tomorrow I get a "boost" in my treatment. I found that out almost inadvertently. What it means is that they are changing the "target" of the proton beam a bit for the last phase of my treatment. Whereas until now they have been treating a fuller area that includes the prostate and the area around it (seminal vessicles, etc.), now they are zeroing in the entire force of the radiation on the prostate itself. That means that the same amount of protons are now concentrated in a smaller area, hence a "boost." They completely change the aperture and the compensator (Lucite "lens" that enables the proton beam to compensate for the exact depth of the prostate to be treated). As I have come to understand how much they customize this treatment for each and every patient, I am awestruck. I don't know what else to say.

It reminds me of the way God works with each of us. He meets each one of us right where we are and customizes a "treatment" (plan of spiritual growth) that is specifically tailored just for us. We aren't one more number for him, a face in the crowd. No, he is particularly fond of each of us with all of our uniqueness, and doesn't want, expect, or desire that we be somebody else. He doesn't evaluate us based on the way others operate, nor does he expect them to be like us. Instead he loves and grows us all right from the point where he meets us. Isn't that fantastic?

May this be a powerful week of growth in your life!

Blessings,

Bill

One of "those" days...

Sometimes I feel just like this when starting another week of treatment. On the one paw, it's 22 down, just 19 to go. On the other paw, it's 22 down, and 19 more of these pesky treatments to endure. Obviously time to take a deep breath! LOL

I suspect some of you at home are feeling like our friend to the left because of your weather. Compared to the weather here in the summer, yours sounds mahvelous ! Your tomatoes must be ripening up, as well as the rest of those wonderful garden delights. Man, do we miss those raspberries! But I've got to tell you: they have the world's best peaches in this area. I don't believe I knew that a peach could be so "peachy." It reminds me of the bananas in Indonesia or the pineapples in Haiti. When a fruit is grown in its element, it's like a tomato ripened on the vine; it's just plain better!

It may be hot where you are. Your "situation" may be lasting longer than you'd like. Just don't forget: "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Bless you, my friends,

Bill

Sheep and cheap

Betty and I have had the opportunity to enjoy all sorts of fish across the years. For example, we got addicted to the Mahi sandwiches at the Ku Aina restaurants in Oahu. We've had some Wahoo here in JAX that was pretty terrific, along with several types of fish the names of which escape me. But today was a first. After church, we drove with our friends to Mayport, and ate at Singleton's Fish Shack on the intercoastal. This place truly is a shack, and it specializes in fish. All kinds of fish. We decided to go with the lunch special: Sheep's head! I will admit that is a weird name for a fish, but it is a white fish and is quite tasty. We will definitely go to that place again!

Then imagine our joy on the way home to find a gas station (BP) selling regular at $3.69. That's right, read 'em and weep. I can't even believe I am saying that's a good deal, but after paying over $4.00/gallon for regular (though not as high as WA), it was a breath of fresh air. The station was packed with cars, and since a TV crew arrived just as we were leaving, I'm assuming this is currently the lowest priced station in the area. We did see it at $3.75 at other places, however. Guess it really is coming down. That will be a blessing!

Next Sunday I'm going to be teaching at the CC here in JAX. It should be a fun time, and will allow the pastor to have a wonderful week off with his extended family, most of whom will be here from parts unknown. We'll just have to pray that the folks will get used to my PNW accent!

I was refreshed by a call from Ralph Cassel yesterday on his return from Puerta Villarta. He must have sensed that I was feeling a bit "down" with the length of my treatment, and reminded me I'm in a marathon, not a sprint, so expect to hit a "wall" now and then. I needed that reminder, and was thankful for the boost. From time to time we all need that, don't we? In fact, who could use encouragement from you today? Who do you know at work, in your neighborhood, or in church who could use a little lift from a friend who cares and prays for them?

As you prepare for a new week, look forward to what God has for you. He loves you madly, and has great things in store if you will just take hold!

Blessings,

Bill

But who's counting?

Today I finished my twenty-first treatment. That means I only have twenty to go, now over half way. While I might not be able to smell the barn, at least I know I'm getting a whole lot closer!

I have heard such wonderful reports about the fellows who have been teaching at Crossroads. You would almost think God had a hand in choosing them. Isn't he great?

Betty and I have joined thousands of others in praying for the family of Greg and Cathe Laurie in the death of their son, Christopher ("Topher"). He died in a traffic accident on his way to work at Harvest Fellowship yesterday, leaving a wife, a little girl, and another on the way. For those of you who don't know his dad, Greg is the pastor of Harvest Fellowship in Riverside, CA, a very popular evangelist and fellow Calvary Chapel pastor. I've known Greg for many years. He is one of the most creative and energetic guys you will ever meet. What a tragic loss! I know you will join me in praying for everybody concerned.

I don't usually do two blogs in one day. Then again, I don't usually finish over half my treatments! PTL!!

Bill

PS - I didn't have a picture of myself leaping into the air, arms raised high. But the feeling's there, nonetheless

Never minimize fellowship...

We do lots of "fellowshipping" around here. Whether it's the Tuesday no-host lunches, the Wednesday lunches put on by the Proton Institue, the no-host dinners on Thursdays (like the one pictured here), or various "come on over to my place" invitations, we spend time together with others who are going through the same thing we are. We laugh a whole lot. We talk about families and futures. It's really a supportive environment.

Did you know that when people are going through cancer (and other challenging issues in their lives), their chances for healing is from 300-500% greater when they have a community of friends to support them? Wow! My chances must be about 5,000%! We not only have the support of new friends here, but the vast network of support of our church and friends beyond. Daily we get emails, letters, cards, phone calls from folks "just checking in." You have no idea what a blessing those are. To all of you, one more time, thank you!!

God designed us for relationship. Isolation, either from him or one another, was never his plan. We need each other desperately. That's why we need to realize that everybody else is just like we are, with all the same kinds of issues, hurts, hopes, hang-ups. Instead of assuming they are "better," we can realize we're all in this "life" thing together, and God has designed us to lift one another up, not to put one another down. The world is good at put-downs. But God is better at lift-ups. If you're not a part of a supportive community, slide into/force yourself into/wedge into one as soon as possible. As you do, God will make you healthy!

By the way: in the picture above, the cute blonde at the bottom left of the picture (Crystal) is one of my radiation therapists. The young man beside her with the curly hair, Laurin, is another. They are all terrific people, and definitely are a huge part of getting us healthy. Praise God for the health-care workers!

Have a blessed day!

Bill

So close and yet so far...

One of the last thing the radiology techs do before they ring the bell, walk out of the gantry, and send in the proton beam, is to put on the aperatures and the lens for the beam to go through. The aperatures are the brass rings you see to the right. Actually each of these is only half an aperature, because if the full thing was one piece, many of the techs wouldn't be able to lift them throughout the day. Each half weighs 13#. Once these are put in place, they add the lens, the lucite "ring that tells the beam exactly how far to go (deeper for the middle, more shallow to the outside). They snap all three in place and leave. Once these exceedingly critical pieces are put in place, you are ready to receive the beam. Obviously they need to be created exactly right.

The samples you see in this picture are all rejects. They look terrific. The only problem is, in each case something is wrong. Perhaps it's cut a bit too much at the bottom, or the mold in the lucite didn't turn out exactly right, or some other problem. Whatever the cause, though the appear wonderful, they are actually useless. They are so close and yet so far from being the valuable items they were meant to be.

Think there might be a spiritual application here? How many people who call themselves "Christian" do you know who, even though they look the part, don't have lives that accurately portray the spirit and dynamic of Jesus' life at all? Jesus said that people who truly belong to him stand out because of their love for one another. It is so obvious, so winsome, so engaging that others want to know what makes them tick. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. They are the real deal and have lives that show it.

Why would somebody choose to look like the real thing yet in fact be of no value to the Kingdom, especially when they could be used of the Lord to do great and mighty things?

I'm glad they have "real" aperatures and lenses here because those are the things that will bring forth true healing. And I'm glad for those who love the Lord and live like they do. No matter what they face in life, surely they will be richly blessed!

May you find his blessing in this day,

Bill