took our breath away. Not only was it both tall and wide, but some of the branches had gracefully swept onto the ground essentially creating new trees. This was one of those "you had to see it to believe it" kinds of moments. Of course we had to look at it from every angle. Even then, it was so amazing, it was hard to believe.
"Wait a minute," you're thinking, "now they're at a museum? Didn't they just go to the beach?" If it sounds like we're on vacation, we are! It may be a "radiation vacation," but to be honest it is the little side trips like to the Museum or the beach that take your mind off the reason you're here. No doubt my experience is like that of others: I still haven't fully dealt with the idea that I have cancer. Of course I "know" that intellectually. But emotionally? Cancer is for somebody else. Be honest: wouldn't you feel the same way? I certainly know that I have cancer every day when I get into my little gown, climb into my pod, swing out into the abyss and get zapped with the proton beams. You have to stay as still as possible, like when you are doing an MRI, and it may be for over 10 minutes when it's all said and done. Today one of my legs wanted to twitch, and I was willing it not to! LOL Funny, it really wanted to do its own thing.
Don't get me wrong. The Proton Institute is incredible. You have no sense that you are in a medical facility. While you're waiting for your appointment, you sit in a huge lobby area, not unlike something you'd find in a nice hotel. Lots of chairs, vast amounts of open space, all sorts of coffees, teas, and the beloved water. (You don't get some high-power "sommelier" to pour you your Gucci water; just a cooler to draw it from yourself!). But everybody knows why he's there, and we're usually talking about stuff related to prostate cancer while we wait our time in the Gantry. "You having any side effects? What are you doing about 'X'? Your 'proton tan' getting darker?" The questions may seem nonsensical to somebody outside our environment, but here it is at the heart of what life looks like every day.
Ah, but when you leave, you want to leave. You want to forget all about "cancer," and go about life. God is doing the healing, after all, and that's where you want to focus your mind and heart. Every guy here is totally positive about a complete cure. No doubts about it. That makes for a wonderful environment to be in. I suppose you'd have to see it to believe it, but when you saw it, you would believe it.
That's kind of like a life in Christ, isn't it. It really needs to be seen to be believed. Talk is cheap, but life speaks loudly. What lessons I'm having driven home here on my "radiation vacation."
Be blessed,
Bill
5 comments:
I'm glad to see that you and B are having some fun while you're there and getting something fun out of the experience. What would be the alternative? Sitting around the house feeling sorry for yourself? Your positive attitude will most certainly contribute to your good health.
Thanks for the candid insight into your journey. I for one really appreciate it.
Bill - the Proton machine sounds very awesome. I hope and pray I can join the Proton club soon too! We really enjoy reading your blog.
Susan (and Walt)
What an amazingly beautiful tree and garden...We appreciate your blog so much...It's like you are with us and we know you are in spirit as the Lord is with you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Betty as well..We truly miss you both...Enjoy your free time and be refreshed...Much love to you..Can't wait for more great stories.Don & Dee
Susan:
We join you in your prayer concerning your ability to access Proton Therapy. You will find it nothing short of amazing, and the people to be fantastic. And you guys know you have a place to stay close to the Center when you come to consult!
PB,
Wow, there are so many things that you and Betty have experienced that you are able to translate into positive messages. From blog to blog, you have been able to find joy in the midst of difficulty. What’s really neat about all this is that the others that are experiencing your similar circumstances there in Florida are getting a lift from your presence, seeing the good works of the Lord, whether they know it or not. Halleluiah! That's your gift dude. And, all the while, all of us back home, reading your words, are getting the benefits too. Keep it up brother, the Lord is working through you regardless of where you are and he fully intends to bring you through this, with flying colors, more brilliant that ever before. And you’re right, what a tree that is!
Our prayers are with both you and Betty, as always,
Tim
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